So even though "Paper Kisses" is barely a novella, I cut a LOT of scenes out because the original plot had Deryn believing Abel was still with Tristan (since, you know, they share a kid and Abel doesn't think to clarify because as you know from "Runt of the Litter", they were never really together).
Scene #1 – They lose control and have sex in the classroom
Deryn breath caught, thighs clamping shut around Abel’s thigh, heart jumping as his body froze for a second, then redoubled its frantic race. The scent of him intensified until Abel could taste it and it took a willpower he didn’t know himself capable of to keep from going to his knees right and there and putting his mouth to Deryn’s crotch.
Just the thought made Abel’s balls tighten as he clumsily pressed his erection to the other man’s belly and met him thrust for thrust. He growled a little, but he couldn’t rush this, he couldn’t bear for it to end if his cock felt like it’d go off at the slightest...
He tangled his fingers into Deryn’s dark hair—just long enough to hold on—and slid his mouth in place, biting the full bottom lip as his partner gasped for air, clinging to him like he was the only fixed point in the universe.
And Abel was more than glad to hold him, to keep him close.
“Sorry,” Deryn muttered, and superior reflexes were no defence against the hand that sneaked down between their bodies and unzipped him with ease. His cock was happy for the reprieve but his self-control couldn’t take the warm strong grip taking hold of him.
He gasped, shuddering all over as he started coming against Deryn’s beautiful fingers, too dizzy with it to look down. And Deryn didn’t stop, stroking long and just roughly enough, like he somehow knew... Abel’s heart was beating in his ears by the time as the world stopped and then crashed into him, pleasure sending everything spinning and making his knees weak.
Weak enough he found Deryn’s hands on his arms once again when he came to enough to remember he had arms.
It had been a ridiculously long time since he’d touched another person like this and he laughed, overwhelmed and grinning madly at the man responsible for breaking his record.
Deryn was looking right back, golden eyed and flushed and a little shocked.
“You okay?” Abel asked, grinning and lifting a hand to reach for him.
He didn’t get there on time, Deryn sidestepped so he was back in the cupboard, gulping visibly and shaking his head. “Just… That was…”
“Bit sudden?” Abel offered, attempting a smile. It couldn’t really be a surprise, could it? He knew humans did things differently and obviously Deryn couldn’t smell Abel was interested, but... actions still spoke louder than words, didn’t they?
He’d had plenty of casual sex, but he was now beginning to realise he’d shared that with his friends—pack mates. Almost family. There was no blaming the moon or joking wolves would be wolves, and it was hard for his brain to adapt to the notion that he couldn’t even mention his instincts.
Not that he actually needed the wolf to want to sex, but still…
“Yes,” the human agreed. He glanced around, grimacing. “I can’t believe we—” He raised his head and met Abel’s eyes. “That was incredibly inappropriate,” he declared.
Abel could hardly argue with the assessment, even if…
“I guess it was not the best... setting,” he conceded.
Deryn’s eyes shot to his face, brow furrowed. He licked his lips, still reddened form Abel’s own mouth, then shook his head. “I can’t do this.”
“What?”
He’d been willing to take a refusal, of course, but Deryn had kissed him back, hadn’t he? Maybe Abel shouldn’t have... No, he really shouldn’t have done this here, but that hardly meant it would be ‘inappropriate’ elsewhere, right?
It was one of the cleaners and they hadn’t even knocked. Why would they? Deryn was supposed to be marking student books. Because this was a school. Eve’s school.
Goddess, what was wrong with him?
He glanced down to make sure he wasn’t obviously... He had to go back in the cupboard to grab some tissues because... well, alpha. But at least his jeans were fine.
Now he just needed to get out. The cleaner had started his work and Deryn was busy moving the books off the desks. Every step Abel took closer to the door was a step further from him, but what could Abel say? In front of someone else?
“See you later,” Deryn told him, not looking up, voice almost painfully blank. Maybe his heart was probably going as fast as Abel’s, but Abel was too overwhelmed to tell.
“See you,” he replied, and hoped it wasn’t just another way to say goodbye.
Scene #2 – the day after they do it in the classroom
“Can I have ten minutes of your time?” the formality extended to this, apparently.
For a moment, his very presence threw Deryn so much he couldn’t come up with a response, then he gestured.
Abel took a step forward and pushed the door closed behind him. It made sense, it was private and they’d already failed hard at keeping that in mind, hadn’t they? Not that this time would… But a conversation could be private, too, of course, and damn, why hadn’t he done anything to get his libido under control when he’d had the chance?
“What?” Deryn demanded, getting to his feet. “Are you for real?”
Abel’s eyes widened. “Yes,” he said simply. “I am, that’s why I’m trying—”
“Are you asking me out?”
“Yes,” he repeated.
“And you think you’re gonna be, what? My sugar daddy or something? That I’ll just go along with? Look your kid in the face every day afterwards?”
Abel didn’t respond for a long time. “Deryn, what the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you being married,” he spat. Had Abel really forgotten that they’d spoken of his husband right here in this room?
Abel opened his mouth, lips moving, but he couldn’t seem to produce any sounds. He didn’t look like a cheating bastard, but then again, Deryn remembered the way he’d spoken of Eve’s other dad. If he couldn’t still feel his hands…
“Oh, wow,” the older man said at last. He was shaking his head and blinking fast like he’d got hit in the face. “No,” he said. “No, I’m not married. I haven’t even dated anyone since Eve was born. Tristan’s… Tristan got… well, he got a boyfriend last year. Australian dude, really smart, helps Eve with her homework, which let me tell you, I’m grateful for because—”
“Stop,” Deryn asked and his voice came out harsh. “You— You said…”
“I never said Tristan was my husband,” he sounded more confused than offended, but that wasn’t enough to explain.
“No, but you… the way you talked about him, and…”
“I never said he wasn’t,” Abel said, he sounded sad now. He brought his hands to his face, scrubbing like he could find some clarity in them. “Fuck, I… I had no idea you thought that… oh, goddess, you thought I was cheating?”
Deryn couldn’t look away from him. “I just…” He shrugged. The chair at the back of his knees was a grateful escape and he sank down hard enough to make it wobble.
Between one blink and the next, Abel’s hand was gripping his wrist and keeping him from falling. Deryn frowned up at him, dizzy. Was he about to faint? He had lost a couple seconds there and…
“I’m sorry,” Abel said once more. “Damn, it’s like it’s all I ever say to you…” His mouth pursed and even that made Deryn want to kiss him. “I thought you were angry about… the sex,” he finished in a whisper.
“No,” Deryn said in response, he could feel his blood beating against Abel’s fingers. There was no reason for him to hold on, was there? But he wasn’t letting go and Deryn could never ask… And he didn’t have to, he understood. “You’re single, and you… you’re asking me out?”
“Yes.” The smile was a little fragile.
“Yes,” he echoed. It was easy, even if the world felt like it was just coming into focus. He glanced behind Abel to where the other man had stood right before the door, there were at least five meters distance. “How…?”
“Oh.” Abel’s fingers twitched and then loosened, making Deryn tense up. He could hardly ask for them back, though. “Well, you know the wolf?”
“The… the sculpture? Do you want it? I… I didn’t take it home,” he admitted. He hadn’t been able to bear the idea of having it there, but maybe a part of him had hoped.
“Yes!” Abel said quickly. “But… Oh, fuck, you’re not gonna believe me if I can’t show you.”
Deryn blinked at him. “Either the shock is getting me or you’re making no sense.”
“I’m making no sense,” Abel told, then exhaled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m a werewolf,” he added, eyes meeting Deryn’s.
“You’re still making no sense,” Deryn offered after a minute. He was starting to wonder if he’d accidentally eaten some of the candy Tina had brought back from Amsterdam.
“It’s supposed to be a secret,” Abel continued. “Because…” He took a step back, scanning the room in search of who-knew-what. Deryn didn’t even remember the cutter in his pencil case until it was already drawn in Abel’s hand. No, not just drawn but drawing blood.
“What the fuck?! He screamed, scrambling backwards.
“It’s fine,” Abel told him, and dropped the cutter back on the desk, still stained.
“Fine?” Deryn repeated incredulously. “You just—” He stopped because Abel had just cleaned his hand on his shirt and he was presenting his palm, slightly coloured by the blood but… Deryn took hold of his hand without a thought, fingers exploring. “Where…?”
“Nowhere, it’s healed already.”
He let Deryn have his other hand, which was equally roughened by work but also lacking any wounds.
Deryn looked up, not letting go. “Because you are a werewolf.”
Abel nodded, almost apologetic. “Kind of hard to come out about it. And also, against the law.”
“Are there mermaids?” He couldn’t have said how his brain jumped there, but maybe it was too many surprises in too short a time because it came right out of his mouth.
“What?” There was some satisfaction in Abel’s confusion, he could admit.
“No offence,” Deryn added. “But if there are werewolves, there should be mermaids.”
“Err… I don’t… Why?”
“And vampires, but I don’t fancy meeting any,” Deryn clarified. “I mean, just, let’s say there’s magic or the supernatural or whatever, then it would make no sense for only part of it to be true.”
It was possibly the craziest thing he’d ever said, but he wasn’t quite able to stop grinning. Was Deryn messing with him? Only, that would make no sense. He discreetly checked the cutter was still on the table. It was even stained with his blood.
“I guess that’s true, but I still vote for mermaids,” Deryn insisted, his thumbs were rubbing Abel’s palms.
Abel let him, not daring to return the gesture.
“I’ll see if I can find you any,” he offered.
Deryn shook his head. “I… You’re not married,” he said, grinning.
“No,” Abel agreed. “But I am a werewolf?”
Deryn shrugged. “No one’s perfect.”
“You believe me?”
The golden eyes travelled down to his hands once again. “I… I do. It’s completely insane, but..”
Scene #3 - Guilt is guilty
DERYN
He couldn’t understand what was wrong with him. He knew he’d fucked up—beyond fucked up—but he couldn’t stop remembering. He made himself sit down with a pile of books that didn’t need marking until the following week, digging his nails into the palm of his free hand any time he lost focus. It was Wednesday and he hadn’t seen Abel in a week.
He hadn’t heard of him at all, but then again, they’d never even exchanged numbers.
And wasn’t that all the proof he needed that they weren’t really friends? If the man had intended… But no, Deryn was as much to blame as the older man. He wasn’t going to pretend he hadn’t felt the tension between them, or that he hadn’t yearned for what had happened.
Except, of course, not what had happened.
That was simply what happened when you deprived a body of what it needed for more than a year and then gave it a double ration, plus dessert. Since it’d happened, he kept getting sudden flashes of sensation so intense he was tempted to check there were no hands on his back, tracing the muscles reverently, no mouth leaving the marks on his neck he had seen in the mirror that morning—too sleep deprived to remember to put on a shirt before going to the loo.
It had just been so— He stood up, pushing his chair back so abruptly it toppled. He needed to do something.
Possibly get laid.
Find someone else to replace the flashes of sense memory with.
Someone who wasn’t the married father of one of his students. Anyone would be an improvement over that. He was pretty sure he couldn’t be fired for it, but if it caused trouble for Eve at home, he’d probably quit in shame. Maybe Abel and his partner had an open relationship, it wasn’t that rare for gay couples, right? And then—
But of course Deryn wasn’t doing it again, he had no problems with open relationships, but he knew it wasn’t for him. He was too possessive to handle it well, and he… Well, there was a reason he hadn’t dated since he’d left uni. He wanted too much, a lot more than most guys could give. Or wanted to, anyway.
And Abel was just the last of many who wouldn’t give Deryn what he needed, it wasn’t a big deal or at all remarkable. Just a long dry spell and a stupid mistake.
It still meant he hadn’t been able to stay in his classroom working when Abel hadn’t shown up that Thursday, which was just sad because it hadn’t even been that long… He thought about calling Tara, but he couldn’t stand to have her think badly of him, and he would deserve her to.
He’d known perfectly well there was something sexual between them and he’d still been too… too lonely, that was the sad part, he’d have been happy for the company and the warmth. He’d have given up on the passion, if he could have.
Abel had kissed him first, but that was little consolation because Deryn had kissed him back. And now he was gone from Deryn’s life, leaving it almost bleak with his absence.
***
His good intentions to go out that Friday after work ended up in nothing when he got home and fell asleep on his lumpy sofa, only waking because his stomach demanded to be fed. The room was dark except for the clock on the oven and the light coming in through his curtainless windows.
He convinced himself to have an apple while he waited for the frozen pie and chips to cook but that was the extent to which his self-care got. Dressing up and driving over to the biggest nightclub in town—where the chances of finding a guy who was interested were slim due to the overwhelming heterosexuality of the population—seemed like an insurmountable task.
He did manage to find a decent movie to watch by indulging his childhood crush on Matt Damon. There was always Saturday, which was the actual weekend.
And Sunday, which was part of the weekend too.
But of course he had to wake up early the next day, so really…
Since Tristan wasn’t an option, Abel had opted to ask Morgan out for a beer that would end up with them naked under the stars. It’d been nice, chill and easy, with a little wrestling before she’d pushed him down and rode him hard. A good, stress-free solution to the problem of his usual sex partner basically getting mated to someone else.
It was nice, but that night he put on the radio while he finished up painting a bureau—he was too antsy to sleep—and it didn’t change who he wanted to tell about the new technology that would allow machines to reproduce individual human voices, allowing those who’d lost the ability to speak once again with their own voices.
He wanted to send a picture of the set of drawers he’d just finished, the polish gleaming, and tell him how the wood had felt like it welcomed his touch. But he had no way to send anything, it’d never occurred to him to ask Deryn for his number. And why was that? He hadn’t been planning to... act. Not yet, at least, he’d figured… Well, he’d figured it’d happen at some point.
But not like that, most definitely not at school. They’d had sex in public, even if they hadn’t been seen, and at the guy’s job of all places. You could probably get banned from teaching for doing something like that, couldn’t you?
The job Deryn loved so much he neglected his art and probably his personal life for it—if the fact that he’d welcomed Abel’s company so readily was any indication.
And Abel had just cavalierly put that risk.
He didn’t have heat to excuse him this time, all he could say was that he’d felt the pull, that Deryn had responded so sweetly to his touch, that—
But none of that mattered, he’d made a mistake and he needed to fix it.
He just had no idea what he could offer to prove he wasn’t just a desperately lonely horndog.
**
But he could hardly insist, could he? He’d never had a sexual partner call their encounter inappropriate before but he could take a hint, especially because it was quite possible they’d need to talk about Eve at some point. Tristan would go if Abel asked, but he was travelling a lot lately and Abel could hardly justify his child’s other parent postponing a lecture that would bring sexual education to yet another werewolf pack so he could avoid some awkwardness at a parent-teacher meeting.
He groaned, cursing when he realised he’d filed too much of the piece away. It was too thin to be any good for the chair and probably for anything that wasn’t firewood. His stomach twisted, pine was a good wood that took centuries to grow and to think of wasting it… He put down the file.
It was clear he was in no fit state to work.