After years of fantasising about it, it had never crossed Ray’s mind that he might end up doing it in Econ class—unable to keep himself from stealing glances at Josh across the room. Part of him still couldn’t believe they’d kissed.

Ray’s moue of distaste over the crisps had always been endearing, but now it also made Josh want to kiss him. He laughed, because it was a crazy rush to want it, let alone to think he’d get to do it.

Sometimes he wondered how adults managed their lives without the certainty of the school week. They had jobs, sure, but you could quit a job. For example if you had an ill-fated affair with a colleague and couldn’t imagine ever having to look them in the eye again.

Slow burn, you say? Who me?

He did feel safe with Josh, as much as he felt safe with anyone anyway. It wasn’t easy to believe anyone would stay when the person who had always had his back had vanished in an instant. For a long time, he’d been furious at his father for leaving them. For leaving him. Because it had felt personal. His mother and his siblings had been left too, but he couldn’t help how it felt.

From the prologue His priority was ensuring he hadn’t left it in any of the common spaces—his brothers were all too curious for their own good, for one. And if little Anne found it… He shuddered, forcing himself to slow down his survey of the living room. In a house with five kids, it was unlikely to remain empty for long. “What did you lose?” At fourteen, Marisa sounded as long-suffering as an old matron. Ray and she got on well most of the time, since they both wanted to he

I love art based on books, but I have always felt adaptations must be allowed a certain degree of leeway. I think it's the same part of my mind that relishes alternative universes... the what ifs, the variations. And then there is the fact that an artist, translator, cinematographer is also an artist and making them reproduce whatever the text says too exactly feels like a waste of who they are.

21. “So what do you plan to do when you finish?” Ray’s mum went on, moving around him to drop more veg in the huge pot she was cooking in. He watched her add spices and herbs, taking mental notes. Here goes Josh totally oblivious Martha is being a mum and asking her son’s prospective boyfriend about his, well, prospects. Note, HOWEVER, how Josh is taking mental notes of Martha’s cooking procedures. The way to a man’s heart and all applies particularly well if it’s his mum’s f

Ray was always quiet, but precisely because of that, Josh knew his silences. The heavy ones after school were nothing like the times when he was so caught up in drawing he wouldn’t even notice if Josh watched him. Lately, he seemed lighter somehow, and more than once Josh had caught him smiling for no obvious reason. And he couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of Iesu. Josh knew he should have been happy for his friend, because being in love was a nice feeling, wasn’t i

He could see Josh’s plan from a mile away. It was classic Josh to step in when Ray was having a bad day.

Josh didn’t remember becoming Ray’s friend. Family lore had it that they’d bonded in the pack school because Josh had defended Ray from another child who’d taken a toy from him. So other people might buy the seventeen-going-on-seventy role his best friend played now, but Josh knew better.

Art piece #1 is on its way now, for now... Have more thinky thoughts.

He let Josh follow him home. That’s how it felt. He had mentioned he had an art assignment for an upcoming county-wide competition he wanted to work on right away, but his friend had kept walking by his side, idly sharing pack gossip.

His parents always insisted on inviting people over the morning after the full moon. By the time he got home, the patio at the back was full of chatter and food. And he just wasn’t feeling it. It’d been a good night for him, really, but a shitty week. He and Ray had fixed things, but he was still feeling unsteady. It didn’t help that Ray wasn’t quite able to look at him. He scooped some risotto and some ribs onto his plate, then took it back inside to the living room for some

He was grateful Josh had asked him to stay shifted or at least hadn’t asked him not to.

A/N: This is my favourite chapter so far...

His mum had agreed he could skip school. It seemed like nothing, given the enormity of what had happened. He couldn’t decide what was worse—that Josh had seen the drawings or that he’d said they were beautiful.

Leaving Ray alone had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Just seeing him in such a state had been torture, knowing Josh was the cause… But he did know, he couldn’t ignore that, and so he’d dragged himself away after giving what little he could think would help. On his way out, he bumped into TJ and nearly knocked him off his feet.

Chapters 12 and 13 function as a mirror of each other. In Chapter 12, Ray is alone and scared of losing Josh, even as he resents him for being upset that Ray is trying to make other friends. He knows he is technically right, but he senses he is breaking an unspoken deal. It’s true. They both feel it, the way Josh offers too much help and too much time, how he acts in ways that would be sweet in a grown partner and are excessive in a teenage friend. How Ray accepts this sile

this is the one you were waiting for...